You Have Problems

Team A Unite!!!!!

2009-07-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

Long Days.... Long Nights.... Long Fights.....
Team A has not been quiet, You just haven't heard of us lately, For we have been separated to fight and save people all around the world. But at this dark hour, I have called Team A together to unite.

Why?!?!?

It seems there is a bigger problem that needs to be dealt with, This time it isn't white wannabes or Mrs. Palmer problems, This time, The problem is within the Team. Some One has created their own team, and have been Terrorizing people in the name of "Team A".

"We Will Find You, And We Will Break Your Balls, You MoPho"

We will also post Problems We've Faced around the world (including "The Death of MJ" and "The Pig Invasion".

Yours Truly
Justice Defender
~Ant

#5 The Crazy Tragic Emo Story

2009-05-14T05:31:00.000-07:00

I have been approached recently by a man, His name is to be unknown. He has a pretty messed up life and family. and recently i had to help him.

"To Be or Not To Be, That Is My Problem, My Mother Is A Whore And She Went Off To Marry My Fathers Brother after my father died. I was then visited by father who i thought was DEAD!, He looked drunk because i didnt understand anything he said. After a while i then realised wat he was saying. My father was murdered by my uncle, OH the Pain, WRetched uncle, he has wanted My Fathers Kebab Stall for years, and now he had taken It and The Bonus of My Mother. I fear To Kill him and i get soo many chances, like that time when he was in the toilet, but im too pussy, And so i procrastinate and make the story long as shit, and boring As to read. HELP ME TEAM A! (& friends).!"...."Im Also A Faggot To My Gf"

Dw We Can Help:

1. Kill Him: first re-enact the murder of ur father and then look for ur uncles reaction. then go to ur mums room and accidently kill ur Gf's dad. Then Go to ur Crazy Dead Gf's Funeral, in which it was ur fault for her death. After that if ur not pussy-whipeed, go accept the sword fight that Ur Dead Gf's bro Challenged. Kill Him!, Then See ur mother get killed, then kill ur uncle, and then kill urself.

2. Run : RUN AWAY FROM THE MADNESS
Go into the mountains, get a life or get a Bf.

3. Kill Him Faster: Kill ur uncle faster, and make it easier on us all.

Hoped This Helped! :P Thumbs Up*

P.S. Saranghae... My Food, That My Slave/Vallet Van Gets Me EveryDay
-The AntMan

#4 The OverSized

2009-05-10T05:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Anthoahuy,

my friend is on a diet
but when it sees food
it cant resist but to eat it
and it is growing fatter

- Nelpy

Well... first can I ask, is your friend an animal?
Usually, animals tend to have that kind of problem. It is extremely hard for an animal to resist its temptations, because they don't have that controlled mindset that us humans do.
What you might need to do with your dog/cat/bird/mother is to basically just DONT show him food as often or just feed him extremely low fat products. Or maybe try giving it some rigorous exercise and then reward it with a little snack. With animals, being lenient of them is something that will never work.

OR, if your friend is a human, then you need to be choosing the right friends, buddy, cos nobody calls his bro an 'it'. *except for Steve Irwin*
Just, bring it to a dietician or try some hardout exercise with it or as I said earlier, feed it some low-fat products.

Anyway, I've got a maths exam tomorrow and I need to revise, so if you have any further queries, please comment back.

-Hoa

#3 The Unoticed (Continued)

2009-04-26T00:33:00.000-07:00

Step 5: The Floor Steps
To Dominate The Floor & To Impress Your Partner, You MUST Know How To Dance, No Not Shuffle Or Krump (Though You Can Bust Those Babies Out Later), Ballroom Dancing. You Will Need To Take Dancing Classes, With Her (So You Both Look Good) Or With Out Her (So You Will Surprise Her). If She Cant Dance, Guide Her Though It, She'll Be Dazzled *Winks*(Unless Your Shit).
The Modern Musics Starts Playing, Its Time To Pump Up Your Babies & Bust Out Your Moves. If Its A Shuffle Circle Jump In And Krump, If Its A Break Down Jump In And Do Some Ballet Etc. You'll Definitely Be in The School Magazine, And Multiple Pictures.
Note#1: DO NOT Ditch Her Or Forget Bout Her When Busting Your Babies.
Note#2: Babies = Dance Moves
Note#3:DO NOT Start Busting Your Babies During Ballroom Dancing, Because You Feel Like It. Unless Your A Retard Or You Wanna Ditch Your Partner. xD

Step 6: The Pick Up (Optional)
The Intimidating Part, Is Meeting Her Dad As You Wait For Her To Get Ready. If Your Thinking Of Going Late, So You Dont Have Time To Talk To Her Dad, That Will Leave A Bad Impression Of You. Be Sure To Go On Time, And Get Him And Her A Present, Her = Rose & Him = Newspaper Or Something Like That.
Note#1: Dont Show Up In A Bomb.
Note#2: Bomb = Old Car That Could Blow Up Any Minute.
Note#3: Dont Get The Presents Mixed Up

Step 7 Coming To You Soon ( After I Get MY Dinner)

-Ant xD

Attempt To Scare The Haters

2009-04-25T01:23:00.000-07:00

^Pudge^

He'll Be Waiting In Your Shower ...
Sleeping Under Your Bed...

Stalkin In The Bushes....
And Eatting Wateva Pets You Have!!

Dont Mess With US! xD

P.S. - He also wants new contact lenses so beware and don't be fooled if you see a white guy with no glasses smiling at you!!

- Hoa

-Ant >!<

For Minhlovesmen

2009-04-24T06:19:00.000-07:00

This is an official solution to the person who loves the fact that Minhlovesmen and IS Minhlovesmen.

I will just copy and paste this from the comment I put on the "just thought it'd be funny" post.

"I have your solution.

Just pay up $50 dollars by Monday, bitch.
JKSJKSJKS

Just look at him and picture him as a young starving african child who has no family and hates africans and wants to be white because he wants a better life or something. TRY to feel sorry for the wanker and since he has so many problems at the moment, you wont have to give him any more. :)"

I hope this helps, Minhlovesmen. Cheers,

- Hoa

Martial Arts Tip #1

2009-04-24T05:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, it is now Friday and I have promised to offer some advice to our helpless friends out there that want to break an idiot's knee. Now, I have to tell you that to help you specifically with your problems, you have to post me the person's build and height and create a fight scenario that you think would actually happen in real life. I haven't gotten any yet, since nobody gives a rat's ass about our blog, but for the time being I'll just start with my own scenarios and if any of them relate to your problems, they may prove useful.

Okay. Scenario #1:

A large built 15 year old named Andre has just stolen a lady's purse. You, the hero of the day, happen to witness this horrible event. You scream out WTF YOU DON'T GO STEALING CHEAP PURSES OFF LITTLE LADIES!

Andre happens to hear your statement and comes strutting quickly at you. He picks up the pace and gives the ugliest angry scowl and snort in the world that looks like a mix of Michael Jackson's nose flared and Samuel L. Jackson being pissed off put together and screams out, "You Wanna Go? You better Alt QQ mate, otherwise I am gonna KS your ass!" *Andre is ASIAN*

Andre gets closer and he is about a metre away from you. He lifts his arms up and advances to push you, like how many noobs attack at first these days. *Freeze the picture* As he is about to push out his arms and push you to the ground and punch the crap out of you, You also stick out your arms with both fists sliightly clenched facing a ... 65 degree angle as a guard (this is necessary, unless you want you get your nose pushed in) and do what is called a Stomp Kick. A stomp kick in kung fu is basically lifting up the knee to about waist height in a straight upwards direction (so Andre won't know which way you will kick) and then just do a stomp aiming at his kneecaps, shins, or maybe even his foot.

If executed successfully and extremely rapidly, Andre will scream out in pain (if you get him hard enough) and he might release his guard. If he doesn't kick him to his thigh or something or maybe just stomp him again and then he won't be able to take in anymore. Then when his guard drops and his face or chest (or if you REALLY WANNA KILL HIM) his throat is open, go for it (if you have to). He will then run over to the nearest public toilet, cry like a little pussy and if he's stupid enough, dob on you.

There are hundred of possibilities with dealing with this kind of scenario. For example, Andre might be a lil slow and he might take a little time to prepare his push. Then you can just do what is called 'intercepting' and jsut punch him in the face or kick him hard in the chest or poke his eyes or punch is throat or even slap him hard before he even pushes. As I said, hundreds of possibilities.

Okay, I reckon my first tip was useful and simple but kinda lame in explanation. Just post some comments on how to improve these tips cos i dunno how you guys get bullied anyway. Anyway, until next time, keep yourself safe, niggas!

-Hoa

2009-04-23T04:58:00.000-07:00

Just Thought It was Funny.

-Ant >!<

#3 The Unoticed

2009-04-23T04:31:00.000-07:00

As the grade 11 semi approaches, we've been visited by many anonnymous people, who have not got a partner for the semi. So We gladly took up the challenge of helping theese ppl get noticed!

So heres the jist You Soon-To-Be-Pimps:

Step 1: Find your target
Find Your Soon-To-Be-Partner. Scan Around the School Look for someone you like, if shes too pretty and hangs out with alot of guys, youve got no chance, so aim low. If you become desperate, our mascot will pop on a wig, and you can have him for the night (ToDoWatevaYahWantWifHim), free of charge.
-Ant

Step 2: Getting Noticed
Soo youve found your lady, now you need to befriend the girl. If you hardly know her "accidently" bump into her and say "Hey". After a few times shell definately notice how annoying you are. Hence Step 2 Complete.
-Ant

Step 3: Making Friends
This Step Maybe Extremely difficult for people of your callibur, so dont push yourself to hard, you may end up scaring them. Firstly Befriend her friends, after that youll easily find out about her. Soon youll be friends in no time, as long as you dont talk about Dota to her.
Note: If her friends dont like you, You Have NO Chance.
-Ant

Step 4: The Question
If step 3 was hard for you give up now, this step will be even harder. You need to hav a pick up line, for gods sake please dont use a corny one or a really stupid one or yell in her face "GO WITH ME TO THE SEMI!". You only have one chance so if you screw up, you screwed yourself, no pressure, its just GG. You have 2 ways to do this, in a crowd where everyone can see (if you fail, GG to the rest of your life) or privately. If your going for the crowd hope thats shes nice and doesnt shame you infront of everyone.
If your cool, get her a prezzie when asking (Note: Dont Go Hardout On This Prezzie No Matter How Desperate).

Step 5 continued Tomoro....Stay Tuned
Good Luck With Step 1-4 Soon-To-Be-Pimps.

Some guy with issues,

2009-04-22T03:54:00.000-07:00

The team has encountered may difficult problems but now they have faced one so large and so difficult it could possibly lose them their jobs.... Wells the problem as you may have heard posted on the blog somewhere is ... someone ... not being specific. He has a ... special problem with ... alot of things. One of which is this our blog. Simply an unique problem is it not? ( your not meant to answer that question ).

Wells this ... person has a problem, and now needs the help of Team A ... and friends. It seems that he is being quite a fag and is disrupting the blog ... how selfish. SO the team has dedicated their valuable time to help this poor man in finding the solutions to the problem.

The solution we have come up with is ...

1 - MAN UP
-Huy

OR

2 - Go Play With Your Pussy Somewhere Else
-Ant

3 - Screw a rat, or something that cares.
- Hoa

- roflmaos.

Martial Arts tips for our innocent pals

2009-04-22T00:53:00.000-07:00

Hi Guys! I've realised a lot of people out there are being harrassed or bullied for some reason or no reason. Either way, the team agree that this is unacceptable. Seeing that our blog never has any problems nowadays, we Ant and I decided that we shold focus a lil bit on this stuff. So, seeing that Anthony and I have martial arts experience, we decided that we would be able to lend a hand.

So starting this Friday and every Friday afterwards, I'll be posting in martial arts/self defence tips from Me and/or Anthony to lend a hand to those who just feel the need to break some guy/girl's hand, face, or maybe crack a testicle.

Just be aware that our help requires rules: nobody is allowed to just walk up to any individual and do the above or anything else that includes violence. THAT is IF they do not deserve it. BUT. If someone says to you that Asians can go to hell or that our blog sucks crap, then please feel free to shove your foot up their craphole or shove their nose into the back of their head. Just kidding. Seriously. :L

So, again, I will be posting these tips from Me or Ant starting every Friday evening. So if you always get sackwacked or dacked, or keep being called a nigga or any other discriminative term, or for those of you, who feel offended by having their favourite game constantly dissed (*D-not mentioning-O-anything-TA, then just post a comment and tell us your problem and we'll try to help as much as we can.

-Hoa

Dota Investigation

2009-04-21T05:04:00.001-07:00

You Heard right im currently working on a dota segment. Titled "The Effects Of Dota", we'll be closely watchin a few subjects as they play dota and as "Dota" is taken away from them. In the end i am hoping to help the addicts find a new path, possibly to stop them being stinges and pay for World of Warcraft.
This Was Requested By An Annoymous Dota Addict.

-Ant >!<

trying out the blogger D=

2009-04-21T01:57:00.000-07:00

Howdy all, I'm Huy. Ima just trying to learn how to post all of this stuff OO" andd yeahss =P. Nothing really to say... Wellss its my first post and you can ask if you want anything to be posted xD. I guess thats all ... BYE.

Huy. x]

#2 The Lonely Boy

2009-04-20T05:34:00.000-07:00

Once Again it is "Annonymous", So please dont ask me who it is, respect the troubled person.

"help most of the QA asians hate me and wanna bash me. How do i become more asian help me TEAM A. oh and ur marstubation thing didnt work for me but the last step worked healed all my problems."

Okay Annonymous, Here Are Some Tips:

The Look: Your looks and your style is important, start off with hair. Yes, Your hair is horrible, looks like a pumpkin and bowl cut mesh. You hair needs to have the azn look, meaning you need gatsby.
-Ant

The Look #2: Your Style of Clothing is utterly horrifying. You need a different way of wearing your clothes, you look like a white kid tryna fit in with a bunch of native hobos. Try wearing some bling, and definately wear a mask (best not to let people see your face).
-Ant

The Move: You Need to walk like an asian, strut, rocking or even with your ass infront, either one is fine. You could even try hunching your back. Always walk in a large group, or you will be pwned severly by passing padestrians. (it may be very hard for some one of your standards to fit in with a group though).
-Hoa

The Talk: Depending on which group you wanna join, you need to study there language. Example: Hoa talks like a pimp, "Sup My Brether" or "What Are You Laughing At, Ill Break You With MY CRAB KICK, Im Serious". OR Like Daniel, "Hey Friends, Lets Play Hello Kitty Island Adventure!" or "GG friend, phew* all that Hello Kitty Is Tiring on the muscles, Ive overworked Today"
-Ant

The Cool: To join in, you need to have a Factor, The Cool Factor, to be calm all the time. I Myself am Very Cool, because im gangsta. Some People are Born Cool, others Achieve it And You Will never have it. So i guess all you an do is Act It. Good Luck.
Tip: Dont stay to close to "Ant" His Hot Factor Exceeds His Cool Factor.
- Dan

GOOD LUCK MINH!
HOPE YOU FIT IN SOON!

P.S. From a later date: These ideas are incorporated by Ant and those who are strange enough to believe that I posted the last suggestion need to know better, please :)

First Problem

2009-04-20T04:32:00.000-07:00

From "Annonymous"
erhm well...i have a troublesome issue u see. its known as ... 'masturbating too much'??? yes. help me *cries* i need urgent help. whether it be helpin my psychological flaws or just kickin' back into a correct mindset and yes. i mean; literally kicking.

Well then Alan We've got the solution for you.

1. Get A GirlFriend (If You Can): Results Show Single Men Masturbate more then men in couples.
-Ant
2. Meditation: eating to fill that aroused void, stare at your mother or father when you have an urge to masturbate or just think of the mess you'll make if you proceed
-Hoa
3. Play Dota: Thats Right, Dota Definately Helps Your system and mind. It Can Get Your Mind Off The Temptation. After All You Need Both Hands To Play Dota.
-Ant
4. Pay 13 Cents: Go To Your Nearest Brothel With A Fake Id And Have A Good Night. I Found It Very Sensational And Cheap.
-Dan

Hoa here

2009-04-20T04:17:00.000-07:00

Hey guys it's Hoa here. Just came to say my first hi and try to learn how to use blogger properly. As you can see, Anthony, Huy and I are a team that strives to help people with their problems, be it emotionally, psychologically, physically, or homosexually (our wonderful mascot Daniel can help tremendously with that).

Remember, we are here to help! Don't be afraid to open up to us or you might spend the rest of your life sitting in a corner bawling ur eyes out. Okay, that's all from me, folks, seeya later!

Hoa

HooRay! We've Got A Mascot!

2009-04-20T04:08:00.000-07:00

Thats right folks we've found our mascot. After a long search we found him in a nearby bin. We offered him a life, And he gladly took it. This Simple minded person is now your stress ball. If you hav Anger Problems feel free to release your rage upon Him.

By Ant

And So The Blog Began

2009-04-20T03:47:00.000-07:00

Yes!
Youve heard right, its the beggining of this AWESOME blog.
Team A & Friends have decided to create a Blog and save the world from "The Alex Invasion" and things that may be dangerous.
So YOU People With Problems, Have No Fear, Team A Is Near.

By Ant & Hoa